Dating in the (our) Eighties
This ain't what you think. What it really is, is a TERRIFYIN' tale! Me an' the Missus was havin' a conversation the other day an' I'm yammerin' about how she don't wanna go nowheres nomore if it's snowy or windy, an' I'm sayin' we gotta stop bein' such old fuddy-duddies when it comes to drivin' someplace. I got some sixty-five years o' drivin' experience an' I ain't killed us (or anybody else) yet. Well she considers that an' so we go shoppin' in a snow storm, gettin' home comfortable an' safe. But I shoulda known there was gonna be repercussions one way or another later.
That's when she throws this little hand grenade on my desk. "You know", she says reflectively, "we should get out more." Well of course. That's what I been sayin' all along.
"You know what we'll do?" she says in the same vane, "We'll have two dates every month. You take me to one place an' I'll take you to another. No matter what, we gotta go where the other one picks."
Well all right then! I was just in the middle of thinkin' about takin' her to Princess Auto for a joke when the rest of the penny dropped. The Missus likes the opera an' ballet an plays an' the symphony an' such things. An THAT'S when the terror set in. Oh my, me an' my big mouth! I can just imagine bein' jammed into a seat listenin' to a bunch o' yodelin' opera singers. I don't know if it's too late or not, but I'd like to make a New Years resolution to keep my big mouth shut from now on. As it is, I gotta go cap in hand to see if I can negotiate some o' the things the Missus likes to do. I may even have to abandon the trip to Princess Auto.
So now I gotta decide whether to shut up an' take what comes or try an' figure a way outta this whole mess. I think I'll opt for shutting up an' take what comes. I mean, what can be so bad about listenin' to a bunch o' yodelin' anyways? I used to listen to Wilf Carter an' Gene Autry an' survived. Just so long as I don't have to listen to Adelle yellin' again, I'll be well pleased. That in itself will be a bonus. Not so terrifyin' after all.
So you see, to every dark cloud there's a silver linin' if ya look at it in the right light, at least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.