My New Hobby
It's not every day I admit to payin' attention to the Missus' suggestions, but I gotta admit that sometimes she just inspires me. You'll remember her tellin' me to get myself a new hobby. Well maybe you don't but take my word for it, she did. An' it wasn't only just once neither. I took that to be an urgent matter. So I started lookin' around an' thinkin' about what I'd like to learn until suddenly I hit on it!
I decided that I'M GONNA BE A ACTOR! Not only am I gonna be a actor, I'm gonna look like one too, an' I'm also gonna sound like one. I been studyin' them folks on the TV. It seems, every time they're showin' emotion, they gotta yell - loud. Well I can do that, especially in the mornin' when my voice is strongest. An' cussin? Listen, I can cuss with the best o' them. I learned that from my kids - an' their kids too, so I got that pretty well aced. In a pinch I can always ask them for ideas of how to pronounce some o' them cuss words they use these days. An' the only thing I'll have to consult with the Missus on is throwin' stuff around when I'm actin' upset an' yellin. They do that a lot in the movies but I'm not sure how it would go over here at home. Maybe I could incorporate it into the act of movin' things the way she likes to do, but it could mean a lot o' repairs. Them actors are sure sloppy when in comes to throwin' stuff around. There's got to be a lot o' breakage - which worries me some. Of course if we put out things she wants to get rid of anyways, that would help us with the downsizin'.
As far as appearance is concerned, I think I can hold my own with any of 'em. If I go without shavin' my face for a week or so, I can look as ugly as George Clooney any time. Well an' as far as my wardrobe is concerned, that could use a little upgradin'. I mean I got the nice suit jackets an' shirts, but I need to invest in a bunch o' dirty blue jeans an' maybe some o' them sneakers to complete the outfits.
That havin' been said, I can maybe get it all together an' do a You Tube presentation to show a new movie star to the world. There's no tellin' where this might take me, but I smell an Oscar in the works. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.