Getting Another Hobby
Well - who wants to hear my opinion on the state of the union on terrorism, global warming, the election and so on? Judging by previous reaction - NOBODY! Okay, I get it. My uncanny wisdom is not the only source of your inspiration after all. Besides, there's bigger fish to fry anyways. Like how the Missus says I need another hobby. I think SHE'S tired of the ones I got. It's understandable. The dining room table is always covered with whatever puzzle I'm workin' on, my desk is always covered in clay or a piece of somethin' I'm makin', an' my flute is never where it's supposed to be. An' now I'm tryin' to learn magic card tricks. Well, that's goin' to be messy too, given my shaky eighty-year old hands.
Oh NOW I get it! It's got nothin' to do with hobbies at all. An' it's got everythin' to do with bein' a little tidier. Well what in the H E Double hockey sticks am I supposed to do with my works in progress? I can't take the puzzle apart every time I quit workin' on it, an' molded clay don't go back in the box all that easy neither. Well okay, I'll try and remember to put the flute away in future.
But get another hobby? Forget about it. I got no more room to put stuff. Besides which, the Missus would just find another place to hide it away anyways. See, there's what I think to be a Dutch gene built into all people from the Netherlands. It's called the clean gene an' once it gets into yer system, it's impossible to remove. I was up at six this mornin' an' tonight's chili was already on the stove. Her mother was like that too. When she vacationed with us from Holland, by the time we rolled outta bed in the mornin' she'd already been to the garden, gathering lettuce, radishes an' green onions - an' had the supper salad made. By now she was washing the windows, havin' already swept the deck.
Now I ain't complainin' about cleanliness an' bein' tidy. Much better that than the other way around. But somewheres there's gotta be a middle ground. I know darn well that if I take up another hobby, the other ones would vanish into thin air. No, I have to compromise. Suppose I take up interior decoratin'. Then I go around an' rearrange all her pictures on the wall an move the furniture all around. By the time she gets finished straightenin' it all out, my puzzles will be done an' so will my clay pottery. That is, unless she likes everythin' I done, in which case I'll need another hobby. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.