Saturday, April 4, 2015

Chickens an' Eggs an' Easter Bunnies

Chickens an’ Eggs an’ Easter Bunnies


The first thing ya notice is that the snow is disappearin’. So is the cold an’ windy weather. You hear them Canada geese honkin’ overhead at two in the mornin’ ‘til ya wanna throw somethin’ at ‘em, preferably the alarm clock. Well yer still tryin’ to get used to that gol-danged daylight savin’s time an’ them honkers ain’t helpin’. Suddenly ya glance over at the calendar an’ it says that this comin’ Friday is Good Friday. WHAT? THIS Friday? I haven’t even frightened the grandchildren yet, never mind paintin’ up any Easter eggs.

To tell the truth, the grandkids are getting’ a little long in the tooth for my shenanigans anyways. Very few o’ them are even teenagers anymore so it don’t have the same effect it used to. Used to be I’d tell them we had to guard the hen house to keep the rabbits from stealin’ the eggs. Then as they grew older the story changed to havin’ to hunt them rabbits ‘cause their relationship with chickens just wasn’t natural, besides which, if we caught one, it would make a fine roast for Easter dinner. Well, that last statement caused an uproar amongst the grandchildren. How could I even think of huntin’ down a cute little bunny rabbit what never done any harm to anybody?  My vivid description of a skinned rabbit layin’ flat on his back in grandma’s roaster, or spinnin’ lazily on a spit over a campfire was usually cause for long lectures from everyone concerned. These days the tables are turned an they tell me they won’t come to visit me in the nursing prison they’re gonna stick me in if I don’t shaddap.

Well it’s all in good fun an’ it’s our Easter tradition. It ain’t got nothin to do with the religious event. That’s somethin’ we celebrate privately an’ it’s nobody’s business. But there’s some other traditions that are changin’ too. Big ones! Used to be around our house that at this time o’ year a new hat, or a dress, or a new pair o’ shoes, or all three together would mysteriously appear, an’ that had nothin’ to do with the Easter bunny neither. It had to do with fashion! It was a right of spring marked by the Easter weekend. You had to have a new outfit to show off in church, or at Easter dinner, an’ the fancier it was, the better. But that ain’t been happenin’ lately. Mind you, we don’t do a lot of socializin’ neither no more so it ain’t necessary to have all this new equipment to show off in. In fact, we was just steppin’ out for a walk in the local park today when the missus says to me how she’s got to clean out her closet. There’s clothes in there she says she ain’t wore in fifteen years. Oh my, what a surprise! Listen, if she wore a different outfit every day, it would take fifteen years to get through ‘em all! Well, it apppears that the new right of spring is gonna be to get rid of fifteen years worth o’ clothes. Ha ha! We’ll see how that goes. It seems to me that’s goin’ to be a lot harder tradition to establish than planned, judging by comments about favorite jackets, shoes an’ purses. These things got sentimental value or so it seems from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.

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