Saturday, April 30, 2016



That's the new response around our house. And it's apparently all one word. It used to be; "I care, but not that much", but that appears to have changed over time. Seems we are carin' less an' less these days. Stands to reason. We're getting' older an' the older we get, the less there is to care about. Well, not that things is any less urgent or important than they used to be. But we (some of us) just don't give a rip anymore. That may have more to do with our own irrelevance than with the importance of the issue(s).

I says to the Missus; "Would you like to go for a walk this mornin'?"

The Missus replies; "idontcare."

Me; "Hey, how about that Duffy trial? He sure gave the PMO a shellackin'".

The Missus; "idontcare."

Me; "You wanna go to the mall today?"

The Missus; "idontcare."

Well I could go on an' on but I don't dare in case the 'idontcare' turns into an expletive o' some sort or other. This is a quiet household an' we don't need no cussin' goin' on around here!

Yesterday the Missus, in somewhat of a sour mood exclaims "Well it's Tuesday an' then - WTF!"

"HEY! Listen up," I yell at her in an authoritative attempt to restore some civility to her dad blamed language. "I know what them anagrams mean an' we'll have no cussin' round here without a good mouthwash o' Tabasco sauce!"

"Aw, ya old fool," she retorts. "Ya didn't let me finish! The anagram is for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday an' then it'll be Saturday when we get to go to the concert."

 "Oh." Apparently she's developed a wry sense o' humour too.

"Well ya do want to go to the concert don't ya? Ya bought the tickets for our anniversary."

"idontcare" I says as nonchalantly as I could.

Well if ya can't beat 'em ya might as well join 'em. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Love is Just a Four Letter Word

Love is Just a Four Letter Word

Ain't them the words to an old Joan Baez song? I think so. I looked it up on the internet and found the lyrics to be dark indeed. In typical Baez style, it hits you right between the eyes. Not a very flatterin' commentary on the condition. It's more or less derogatory; somewheres between love an' hate.

Well hate is just a four-letter word too. And it seems to be more and more prevalent these days. But it's disguised under the banner o' bein' right or righteous rather than bein' hateful. It don't matter what ya call it, hate is still hate. An' haters love to hate. They are so grounded in their beliefs that anyone opposing them is either a bully or an idiot. They don't even realize their own hatred, never mind acknowledge it. Their intransigence is mind bogglin'. Things like compromise or discussion don't even show up on their radar. There was a guy the other day who disagreed with my opinion an' he called me moronic. He wondered how anybody could be friends with such a moron. Well I suppose when yer feet are set in stone, it's hard to pull 'em out.

Another example is the NDP national conference in Edmonton last weekend. Holy Crackers! That was some surprise. I think everybody was just as shocked as Tom Mulcair. But I thought he was gracious enough to say he'd stay until a new leader is elected, which to me means he's willin' to put up with more abuse from the party he's led for the past while. Either that or he needs the paycheque. Of course all the haters in Alberta are cheerin' away at a blow to the NDP. But here's the kicker. Rachel Notley, Alberta's NDP premier flew in the face of that NDP Leap Manifesto, defending the pipelines and the oil business like no other politician has done before. This is a premier who gets things done; witness the job creation equaling fifty percent of the nation's record. I'm willin' to bet she'll put enough heat on the rest o' the country to get her (Alberta's) product to market. An' it won't be outa hate neither. It'll be outa negotiation an' compromise. That's how love works.

By the time Albertans realize that listenin', engagin' in constructive dialogue, openness and transparency (similar to Prime Minister Trudeau) gets things done, they'll be writin' her eulogy. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'. 

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Life is just Plain Silly

Life is Just Plain Silly!

Well just think about it. Oh, maybe not - not unless yer of a certain age. It seems the older ya get, the sillier life becomes. In fact when ya get really old, it gets downright plumb stupid, an' that's no lie!

Take that singer that everybody goes nuts over. I call her "Yell Adele". That's a pretty accurate term I think. Good grief, if ya gotta listen to her yellin "Hello" all day long, that's pretty strong punishment. Yet people go batty over her. I don't get it. Is that even music? An I don't even wanna think about the dancin' that goes on these days. What would aliens think if they were to watch our "dancin'" behaviour? Somehow we gotta get a little respect or the aliens will start to talk all over the universe.

An' did ya ever notice how people between the ages of thirty to sixty have got all the answers to every situation under the sun? They got opinions too, the main one bein' that if you don't agree with them you're an idiot. You gotta remember that these are the people who run businesses or wash windows or work in fast food places or are presidents or prime ministers of countries. All I gotta say is how's that goin for ya? Not that I'm bein' judgmental or anythin' like that. No not me, I'm old an' retired after all.

What it all comes down to is what's already up there on the top shelf. These young whippersnappers got all the answers, or at least opinions on all the answers. And the opinions and answers are all cast in stone. What they fail to grasp is that there's more "been there/done that" knowledge up there where they put us old geysers than they could ever fathom. Of course it would never occur to them to take us down once in a while to see what that they can use.

So the whole business can be briefly summed up in David Suzuki's response to the question of how he wanted to be remembered after his passin'. He was shocked at the question, askin' why he should care. He'd be dead anyways an' what people thought was none o' his concern.

An' that there is human life; full circle. We're born, grow up to know everything there is to know, get put on a shelf and forgotten about until we croak an' then somebody wants to remember us for who we were. It's just plain silly, or at least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.





Saturday, April 9, 2016

Military Might

Military Might

I heard that term on the news the other day. It's been a while since that old saw has come up. I think they was describin' Vladimir Putin's agenda. When you think of military might, you automatically think of Alexander the Great or Genghis Kahn or Hannibal, Napoleon or even Adolph Hitler. It's a term that belongs to the past along with the names associated with it. Well let's face it. These guys are all dead as doornails an' where are their empires now? Joe Stalin for example spent his last two days on this earth in severe pain and alone because no doctor would come to see him and give him unwanted advice for fear of their own demise. Machnov, the South Russian anarchist who had robbed, pillaged and plundered Russia during the revolution ended up in a loony bin in the slums of Paris. And they dug up Richard III from under a parkin' lot in England.

So where's the benefit of all this military might? Its proponents have some cockamamie idea of their own importance in the grand scheme of the future of humanity (as they see it). It reminds me a lot of getting' really, really drunk an' then payin' for it with a giant hangover. If ya dig all these power brokers up from the underside o' the grass, you'll find nothin' more than a pile o' bones. By an' large, the same can be said for the empires they built. In fact, excavations these days uncover all sorts o' great civilizations, deep beneath sand or soil or jungles.

It begs the question; what in tarnation were we doin' spendin' all that energy buildin' these great empires an' civilizations anyways? Well there was a time when we needed better huntin' grounds or berry pickin' places or stuff to feed our people. Maybe we even wanted a warmer climate to live in. But all that's long past - dead an' buried - literally. Unless you want to wipe out a whole nation, their ain't no point. In fact, the nation bein' impacted is liable to take off an' migrate elsewhere an' then you got nothin' - witness Syria for example. Yer commands an' demands come back to you as an echo in an empty country so's yer only commandin' yerself as the sand blows in over yer civilization.

So what's the lesson to be learned from all this claptrap? I supposed it points out who the real big shot in our part o' the universe is. Mother Earth in her wisdom just keeps blowin' soil an' sand over our sorry carcasses an' the rain forest keeps growin' through an' over our great civilizations an' just buries us in our past. So there really ain't no use in all that military might in the first place. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.

Saturday, April 2, 2016

More About Ghomeshi

More About Ghomeshi

I ain't sayin' Ghomeshi didn't do all the things them women accused him of. Sometimes it takes a little while to figure it all out. Women who do them disgusting sorts o' things are called Dominatrixes. They got all kinds o' equipment to do their activities an' people go to them for that kind o' service. I don't know what you call a man who does that, but I got a few suggestions that can't be printed here.

It seems the only thing Ghomeshi didn't do was advertise his kind o' service ahead o' time an' the women didn't know what they was gettin' in to until they was right in it. But I guess it wasn't all that bad, given their continuin' relations with him. Who knows, he could have a flourishin' business if he advertised what he does. It might be a whole new career for him.

Still in all, ya can't blame the judge or even the defense attorney for the outcome. They applied the law as it is written. If there is any fault, it is on the prosecutor and/or on the women themselves.

As for the women involved, the encounters weren't that bad, given their continuin' relationship with him. And the prosecutor should never have charged Ghomeshi under the law as he did. He should have charged him under a different law havin' to do with not deliverin' what was advertised or deliverin' more than was advertised or negotiated. I mean look at what happened to Volkswagen with their deliberate deception of the general public. They got their hides nailed to the barn door. The same principle could have been applied here with a whole different outcome.

The whole business reminds me o' when I was fourteen an' I got a summer job workin' on buildin' houses for my uncle's company. The first job given to me was to move the outside toilet on the jobsite. Thankfully the foreman took pity on me an' told me exactly what to do. That was one time I paid attention to instructions an' in no time, I had it done.

Instead of all this protestin' an' yellin' unfair (an other things) the women an their prosecutin' attorneys want to get their acts together an figure out how to charge these deviant perpetrators appropriately. I'll bet they'd have had a different outcome had they hired the lawyer who was Ghomeshi's solicitor. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.