The Meddle East

The “Meddle” East

 

Geographically it’s called the Middle East. Politically it’s definitely the “Meddle” East. I started to do some reading yesterday about modern day Israel. HOLY CRACKERS! Talk about yer meddlin’! There must be some sort of social magnet in that useless piece o’ real estate, the way people go stickin’ their collective noses into it all the time. Even before the Crusades there was a constant bickerin’ over territory.

An’ then the pope got involved. He was apparently the crusades Head Honcho, sendin’ out the Spaniards and the French and so on to visit the Holy Sepulcher an layin’ claims to this that an’ the other. There was somethin’ like seven Crusades in all, each from different factions an’ all havin’ the papal seal on ‘em. So that’s how long them Europeans have been meddlin’ in the Meddle East.

Well come the turn of this last century the Empire buildin’ Brits moved in an usurped the pope, dividin’ up this piece an’ that, makin’ new borders an boundaries, completely oblivious to tribal lands, customs an’ jurisdictions. There’d been a move afoot for some time with Jews fleein’ from Russia to resettle in Israel (wherever that is). So now they needed a place to put all them buggers. An’ the Brits arranged to shift the Palestinians over to make room for all them displaced Israelites. Well, if that wasn’t the start of an uproar. The Palestinians was none too impressed with the arrangement an’ neither was the Egyptians an’ so they had a coupla wars over it. Of course, they got to bickerin’ over the Suez Canal too while they was at it. It seems the Egyptians didn’t want shipping to go into or outta Israel. I think that’s what led to the six day war. Then of course you got yer United Nations involved of which the U.S. was a part an’ that’s how THEY got into the fray. I remember ol’ Yasser Arafat comin’ to the United Nations offering up a gun in one hand an’ an olive branch in the other. The United Nations could choose which one they wanted.

Then there’s Syria, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Libya, Iran an’ Iraq. An’ the U.S. has been involved with every one o’ them, some with boots on the ground but mainly as arms suppliers. Them an’ the Brits an’ the French or any other European country got no danged idea of any o’ these cultures an’ figure they can draw borders anywheres they want an’ it’ll all be copasetic. They even had Colonel Laurence runnin’ around promisin’ the Bedouins that things would be right an’ then hung him out to dry when they was finished with him. Since the Americans took over the power when the French an’ English had thrown up their hands in exasperation, they ain’t displayed any modicum o’ common sense neither, electin’ to trade guns for oil as their stock in trade an imposin’ American values on these ancient tribes. They’re about as dumb as the rest o’ them. If you doubt that, just look at the mess goin’ on over there right now. I’ve said it before an’ I’ll say it again: pick up yer marbles an’ go home. Let them middle easterners do their own killin’ of each other. They got enough experience at it. In ten years time, you can send in Remax Real Estate an’ build a bunch o’ condominiums. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.