Saturday, February 14, 2015

GMO Humans

GMO Humans


Them gol danged Brits! Ain’t they got better things to do? Wasn’t they the ones to clone Dolly the sheep a while back? Now the scientific community is gonna make a new an’ improved human for crimeny sakes! Outa’ three parents they’re gonna do it, an’ I don’t know how that’s gonna work. There’s only two kinds o’ parents in the human species that I know of (an’ every other one to boot). Where in the world did they get the third kind?

Genetically modified they say. That sounds a little far fetched. Somethin’ like what Sir Harry Pilkington might do in his laboritory in St. Helens. Well after all, he took ordinary plate glass an’ figured out a way to make it absolutely perfect by a process called floating. This genetic modification would be somewhat similar although less transparent. You’d take an existing egg, remove all it’s defective  parts an’ add in the good parts from each o’ the parents an’ voila, you got yerself a super egg! Imagine what that’s gonna produce when it’s cooked an’ comes out in the form of a super baby. Holy crackers!

Just think o’ the possibilities. You’d have this super smart brat, probably a red head cause they got a higher tolerance for pain, an’ not prone to diseases or allergies. It’d probably be a handsome devil too. Well if you’re gonna design somethin’ ya might as well make a good job of it hadn’t you? But then there’s Murphy’s law. Well he says that if everythin’ seems to be goin’ well, you must’a overlooked somethin’. Good ol’ Murphy. He’s always got a spare fly to throw into the ointment.

Well just think. Them folks is so focused on makin’ a new an’ improved human bein’, they ain’t even thinking about all the possible outcomes. For starters, what’s the pharmaceutical companies gonna do when everybody’s healthy for as long as they live? An’ speakin’ o’ that, how long are they gonna live anyways? Did anybody ever stop to think about when the ol’ ticker quits?

This is gonna be a game changer far as I’m concerned. Who needs doctors an’ nurses for perfectly healthy people? Who needs robots to do the work for perfectly healthy people? No, no, no. This is definitely not a good idea. Tremendous industries are built around sick, ugly people an’ they’re doin’ just fine as it is, thank you very much. We don’t need no George Orwell type creatures roamin’ the earth upsettin’ the applecart. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’. 


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