Saturday, September 27, 2014

Got Drugs? Pass it on!


Got Drugs? Pass it on!


Who was it that said “For every action there is a direct and equal opposite reaction. . . .” or something like that? Turns out to have been more true than we realized, at least accordin’ to the recent news. Basically, what they’re talkin’ about are them prescription drugs an’ over the counter drugs, an’ even the illegal kind o’ drugs people inject into their blood streams an’ then pee them out and flush ‘em into the rivers, lakes an’ sewage systems which transfer them to treatment plants, which then don’t get the drugs filtered out o’ the system, which then go back into the water we drink, which then means we are ingestin’ all kinds of who knows what all into our bodies before we start the cycle all over again.

It was Isaac Newton who made that casual remark a hunnert an’ fifty years ago.  It was a matter of physics, he said. Who knew that physics had any practical application? I always thought it was reserved for them crackpot scientists like Stephen Hawking. Well that’s a big bang of a theory. Shows you what I know.

Regardless of the theories an’ concerns though, this could actually turn out to be a good thing that crept up on us here. It’s sort’a like what they do for people with peanut allergies. They feed ‘em a little bit at a time to sneak up on the allergy an’ build up their resistance to the reaction. Here now, we got a whole drug store at the kitchen sink. Blood thinners, headache remedies, maybe even Viagra an’ cocaine too. They say that these are only miniscule amounts of the drugs that are not bein’ filtered out by the treatment plants, but if you figure in the risin’ population, the amounts will grow in the next while an’ by the time we need some o’ them pills, we won’t have to go to the drug store no more. We’ll just drink lots o’ water like them health nuts tell us to. Our blood pressure will go down, our anxieties will be relieved an’ we won’t even have headaches no more while we are primed for sex. Might be that erectile dysfunction’ll be cured too an’ we’ll be on a continual high from cocaine. All we gotta do is drink eight glasses o’ water a day an’ we say goodbye to the drug companies.

Who’da thought the health care system would cure itself through Mother Nature? Now if we could just figure out which particular drugs we need, we could tune our faucets to them drugs. I think somebody ought to start makin’ some specialized faucet filters that you can turn on to any medication you want. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’. 


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