Saturday, January 7, 2017

Oh God - Part One

Oh My God!
Part One
It all started with a conversation me an’ the Missus was havin’ early one mornin’ at breakfast. We was watchin’ the news an’ somebody had died, leavin’ a bunch o’ tweets sendin’ condolences to the family. Them things was readin’ stuff like: ‘he’s at peace’ or: ‘he’s in a better place’ – stuff like that. It didn’t impress the Missus all that much. Well, she was talkin’ about the souls of the dead, not their bodies. Bein’ raised a strict Roman Catholic, she’s developed a few jaded ideas about the subject over time.
I, on the other hand have had some experience with ‘the other side’ after the passing of old Walter Bergen at the age of ninety- eight and also my late mother-in-law. It could have been just my imagination, or I might just have had a real glimpse of what goes on in heaven and hell.
What, of all things that caught my attention was a piece of the Lord’s Prayer that says; ‘Thy kingdom come. Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven’.  The first thing that came to mind was thanks givin’ dinner. Well, you’da said the same thing if you had been at the last full board meetin’ in heaven. Things ain’t no different up there than down here on earth. This particular year-end meetin’ was an important one in which God hisself would preside. He didn’t fool around neither. He got right down to business.
“We seem to have some strange language goin’ on round here,” he boomed in his thunderous voice. “What kind o’ words are you folks mutterin’ in yer conversation these days?”
“We’re just keepin up with the younger generation boss,” said St. Peter. “That’s how they talk these days.”
“Aw, Crap!” said the Lord. “Not again. Who’s behind this anyways?”
“Well, our P. R. department thought they’d get ahead of the curve an’ do a pilot project for future use by the Millenials,” answered Peter.
God had a perplexed countenance about him. He leveled his eyes directly on St. Peter. “What, pray tell, is a P. R. department and who the H. E. double hockey sticks are Millenials?”

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