Saturday, June 27, 2015

Father's Day Notes


Father's Day Notes


This year father's day fell on June twenty-first. Well it's all over the map, the dates ranging from the fifteenth to the twenty-somethingth dependin' on the will of the calendar police. I used to say it was more or less nine months before mother's day, which of course was an open invitation to get my face slapped by all the women within earshot. It seems I'm talkin' about an unmentionable secret no woman dares admit to.

Hmph! Don't you remember that September evenin' when you was out closin' the cottage up for winter and the stars twinkled in the Indian summer night sky as the last of the harvest moons hung heavily over the horizon? Then it was all romance and love and poetry as you embraced your soon to be father in the hammock on the front porch.

WELL WHO IN THE H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID YA THINK YOU WAS CONSORTIN' WITH - THE WENDEGO? That's how it appears with the way women go hidin' this dark an' dirty secret that nobody wants to remember. No, NOW it's all about the pregnancy and the birthin' pain caused by this cruel and thoughtless bastard (the father) who must have preplanned it all in the first place. Well I could tell a story or two about fatherhood as I'm sure many a father or prospective father could - but we won't.

Well it turns out that it ain't the miserable mothers who are wishin' us happy fathers day anyways. It's the children whose fathers we are. They got absolutely no idea how they got here in the first place. They're just happy to have a day when they can let their fathers know they're appreciated in spite o' themselves. It's a day of - dare I say it - respect.

Whatever it is, we'll take it over the protests of the mothers who seem reluctant to share this family honor with the partner who helped them make these little critters. Talk as you like, it goes a long way to mitigate the troubles of everyday life with these creations of ours. Makes it easier to hand over the car keys or the credit card. For all I know it could be an elaborate scam to fill our hearts with love and keep our pockets empty and the changin' dates just facilitates it. It could be a huge conspiracy. At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.

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