Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Long and the Short of it.

The Long and the Short of it


Listen, this argument has been goin’ on since dirt was invented. It already started when Eve got together with that snake of a snake. An’ it all has to do with the same basic thing. Really girls, you’re not foolin’ anybody one bit. We know what you’re up to. Well who can really blame you. After all you got them blossoming bodies bustin’ outa your bloomers, an’ somebody’d better notice. How else you gonna find out who’s tryin’ to figure out how far up your pants your legs go? Or just how cleaved your cleavage is?

If you think for one minute that anybody’s gonna believe the only reason you dress that way is to be comfortable in the hot weather, think again. Two inches or four inches (or however many centimeters that is) on the hemline of a pair o’ shorts or a top ain’t gonna make one iota o’ difference. The temperature you refer to has nothin’ to do with the weather. It has everything to do with the body temperature rising at the remarks you pretend to be offended by. You might as well wear some “Depends” or a “Colostomy” bag to keep all that crap in. The same goes for them guys wearin’ muscle shirts you girls seem to like so well.

Just so’s you know, let me tell you that school, especially middle school is an incubator for learnin’ not sex. Do you see your parents and grandparents goin’ to work dressed like you are? I don’t think so.

But I’ll tell you what though. You got a good point about the schools bein’ wrong in sendin’ you home to change yer pants. What’s gotta change is the curriculum just a wee bit. Right after assembly, they have to have a mandatory “come as you are arc weldin’ class an’ construction instruction. That way you get to see the sparks fly in ways you never thought you would AN’ you get yer exercise at the same time. Not only that, but you learn a trade different from the oldest one in the book too. What could be better?

Just think. You’d win the age old argument and wear whatever you want with nobody givin’ you grief over it an’ the boys could watch you dance every time you got a shower of sparks up your wazzits, or down your wazzits, whatever wazzits you got hangin out. It would completely camouflage your true intent that you could then take to the next level AFTER SCHOOL IS OUT! At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf,

Just sayin’.

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