The Church of the Second Amendment

The Church of the Second Amendment

Is it any surprise that Americans are perceived around the world as a bunch of loud - mouthed gun toting killers? I suppose it is – but only to Americans. Holeeeeeeeee! Talk about your screwed up priorities. I took it upon myself to do a little reading on the National Rifle Association to find out where they sit in all this gun control business. Well I can’t say I was speechless – that rarely happens to me. More to the point, I was speechful – but with a lack guidance as to where to start speechifyin’.

It appears the National Rifle Association is the papal agency of the Church of The Second Amendment (of the American Constitution) – a powerful and vocal religion not easily denied. It is very similar to the Islamic extremists whose intransigent interpretation is its main mantra. “Death to anybody who interferes with our right to the pursuit of freedom, happiness, and the American Dream”. And they’ve got the guns and ammunition to back them up. Man, do they have guns and ammunition! Three hundred = odd million of them!

Turns out that the whole idea of this church was born out of fear of British oppression in around 1812. The Americans weren’t going to let that happen again after they whipped the Brits the first time! So the Association came into being. It proved to be highly successful too. The Brits haven’t attacked once since then. Go figure.

Well by 1860 or so, the Americans took issue with their national identity (among other things) and with the proliferation of guns and ammunition, started shooting each other. Shit! That wasn’t what they had in mind, so the Church of the Second Amendment started training programs to teach gun owners how to use their weapons. They held competitions, issued publications, had massive education programs, even set up gun clubs. (It never occurred to them to reel in all the guns). By the time the civil war was done, some six hundred thousand Americans lay dead and rotting in the fields.

Well, the Church of the Second Amendment has a powerful incentive to continue its mission. Profits from the manufacture and sale of arms and munitions, along with membership fees and donations are their mainstay. And of course their adherents are happy to pay too. The Catholic Church has its investments in real estate and other diversified portfolios, while the Church of the Second Amendment is invested in cash – the good old U.S. greenback. Both of them organizations are stinkin’ rich. But the difference is that while other churches preach to their parishioners and squirrel away their donations, the Church of the Second Amendment gives their parishioners guns and bullets, and preaches to the government. Hell, they ARE the government! Congress is full of them buggers.

Mind you, since they are so heavily invested in cash, perhaps if the government had any guts, they’d make them pay for policing, for legal fees and for funeral costs of victims of “lead poisoning”. But then that’s pretty well a republican organization – and you know what that means. Every American is a loser. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

 

Just sayin’.