Friday, February 15, 2013

Idle No More For Seniors

Idle No More for Seniors

I’ll bet you thought this was gonna be another one of them rants about First Nations issues again. Well, you’d be wrong! I’m just borrowin’ the title of their protest movement for a whole different purpose. It’s a pretty catchy phrase, don’t you think? Not only is it a catchy phrase, but the whole set up to ambush the government is perfect. That’s what I’m talkin’ about – a government ambush.

Well it don’t take much to ambush them folks these days, given the rattled state they’re already in. I figure us old-timers could give them a run for their money – teach them a lesson or two.

The whole idea came to me the other day when I was telling my daughter about one of the guys in the “Over the Hill Gang” wanting to go sky=diving on his eightieth birthday. I said I wouldn’t mind to go too, if I was invited. You’d think she’d be complaining about old dad doin’ a stupid adventure. But no, you should’a heard her; “Yeah, yeah,” she says excitedly, “you should do it! I’d like to film that!”

It doesn’t take that much imagination to put government + a catchy slogan + a gang of old geysers together to figure out what needs to be done. See, I figured if the whole bunch of us got together, we could land on the lawn of the legislature, carryin banners and demandin’ our rights. Can’t you just imagine a sky full of senior citizens descending on the government with banners flyin’ and screamin “Geronimo!”? I’ll bet we’d have a whole yard full of old timers as spectators and supporters surrounding the legislature that day! No government official would escape us until we said so!

Well, it’s a natural. Old Vince – he used to fly his own plane, so we got that covered. He ought to be able to get us up in the air a couple’a miles. And John, well he’s got a bum knee, so he knows how to fall down already. And the rest of us are also good at collapsing on demand. The air rushing at us on the way down will keep us alive and breathin’ at least ‘til we hit the ground. After that all bets are off. And I think Leon could probably arrange for a couple’a wheelbarrows to cart our carcasses off to the cemetery when we splat down the ground.

The only thing I gotta do is to try and find Maudie Frickert to come along and throw us out’a the plane. She’s an old time stewardess (they used to call them that) and she was good at flingin’ people out’a planes. Oh – and there’s one other thing I nearly forgot. We gotta figure out what rights we wanna demand. I guess we’ll have to have a meetin’ to get that straight. And well have to write them down in case we forget. Wouldn’t it be a shame if the premier asked us what our demands are, and we gotta say, “Oh ratz – I forgot!”

Seems to me it would be a worthwhile adventure. Sure sounds good in my imagination. Well, it probably won’t really happen but my old ticker starts beatin’ again, just thinkin about it. Tee Hee! GERONIMO! What a blast! Just like the good old days! At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’. 


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