Twenty - Nine Elephants

Twenty-Nine Elephants 

Have we got elephants in the room or have we got elephants in the room? Well, I’ll tell ya = we got elephants’ in the room. There’s twenty-nine o’ them to be exact. Let me put this into a little bit o’ perspective. See, a number o’ years ago the Missus came home from overseas with the statue of an elephant she got from her mom that she’d admired. Well, people figured she liked elephants so every occasion like birthdays, Christmas, an’ other days when they didn’t know what to bring her, she’d get another elephant until she had quite a collection. First thing ya know, she’s got a whole herd o’ them things. An’ they’re all over the place too. Ya can’t turn around without runnin’ into one or more o’ them critters. It’s frustratin’ to say the least.

“We need a shelf”, says the Missus. “We gotta gather them all together so I can see ‘em”, she says. Well, fine! We go to the shelf store an’ sure enough we find just the thing. That was the easy part. Knowin’ where to put it, now that’s a different story all together. Of course, I know exactly what to do in puttin’ it up too. That is, I put it exactly where the Missus told me to, an’ I was done. The rest was up to her.

I should’a known better. The shelf goes up directly behind my desk an’ it’s big enough to hold the whole gaul danged herd o’ them critters so that every time I turn around, they’re all sittin’ there starin’ down at me! Can you imagine twenty-nine pairs o’ elephant eyes zeroed in on the back o’ yer neck while yer tryin’ to work? Well neither can I, but I guess I’ll have to. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.