Saturday, October 6, 2012

Back to the Future News

Back to the Future News

Journalistic junk! It used to be that journalists reported the news as it happened. That’s why we called it news. We don’t get that anymore. What we get now is anticipated news, in other words, news that hasn’t happened yet but is expected to. For example; last week reporters were all over Justin Trudeau who said he’d announce next Tuesday whether or not he might run for the leadership of the liberal party. In typical Trudeau fashion he told them to just wait. That’s all the reporters wanted was the rumors. It would have been a little disappointing had he succumbed to their pressure. Then there’d be nothing to speculate about. This way though, the news was abuzz with speculation about Trudeau, his potential rivals, even the future of the liberal party. Newsrooms were busy, pundits were busy, even pollsters were busy. Holy Toledo! That’s a big spike in employment on news that hasn’t even happened yet. I guess you might call that making something out of nothing.

Well, and that’s not the only thing there are rumors about. Anywhere from that Omar Kadr kid’s future in Millhaven to his family’s Al Qaeda leanings to the NHL dealings; you name it and they’re speculating about it. It’s apparently not what makes the world go ‘round, but what (may or may not) make the world go ‘round at sometime in the future.

I don’t really think there’s a reporter who can actually report the news when it happens. When somebody sets fire to something or unloads his firearm into somebody’s body, it’s usual for it to be reported by a cub reporter. That’s kid stuff. Leave the what- ifs and the might-bes to the senior staff.

You know come to think of it, that’s probably how we got to where we are. Well just think of it. Remember Dick Tracy’s wrist radio, or Flash Gordon’s super equipment, or even the Batmobile? There you have it. We are what we imagine we are. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day soon we don’t go running around in little coveralls with a club knocking each other down like the Mario Brothers. At least that way, we’ll be getting our exercise.

It’s a sad state of affairs when our evolution over the last century has progressed according to the dictates of comic books. And the journalists, well let’s face it there aren’t any anymore. It’s just as well. Nobody can spell properly anyway. And that snotnose Trudeau was just leading the speculators by the nose. He did indeed announce his candidacy exactly when he said he would. By starting a rumor about a rumor, he drew a big crowd to the hall where he made his announcement and got good press coverage. So I guess there is a use for these speculators after all. It’s almost comic book-like. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.


Just sayin’. 

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