Update

To the followers of my Blogs

Following the Lord's Prayer, the statement that says;'Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven' struck a chord with me and I wondered if that in fact is the case. Well, my imagination went to work and put my pen in gear to the point where I couldn't stop in time.

That said, I have to finish what I started so you'll have to wait for a few days for me to finish my rant.

Thank you all for following, and good wishes for the new year!

The Art of Negotiation

The Art of Negotiation

When Moses threw down his staff at Pharaoh’s feet, it turned into a serpent. Then he picked it up and it returned to a staff again. Pharaoh called one o’ his magicians an’ he done the exact same thing. Well that was only the openin’ gambit that Moses an’ Aaron presented. Each plague became increasingly more horrendous, an’ pharaoh’s magicians could always equal them an he wouldn’t let the Jews out of bondage until the threat of the life o’ the first-born son o’ each family came up. That finally rattled Pharaoh’s bones an’ he relented reluctantly. The final blow came when Pharaoh changed his mind an’ his army chased Moses into the Red Sea an’ was swallowed up by it. So by divine intervention, Moses sorta’ won the negotiation.

The negotiation that got to me even more was one that took place in modern times in actual circumstances that we all know about. I picked up a book at the library that contained correspondence by that diminutive lion, Desmond Tutu to the Apartheid Government of South Africa of the day. You could identify the steps of negotiating he was using and even if his letters were addressed to you, you would recognize them an’ still like it. It was he who was more instrumental in dismantling that government than anybody else. And the exchanges were all executed with grace and dignity. Not only that, but after the fall of the government and the installation of Mandella, Tutu established the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, a most remarkable tribunal that changed the dynamic from US and THEM to all of US. That was probably the hardest part of the whole process, certainly the most gut wrenching. And it was painful, but in the end it was done and all were changed by it.

See, that’s what I was tryin’ to get at. For someone to absolutely win a negotiation, you need divine intervention, but for a successful negotiation, you need to get rid of the “Us and Them” and replace it with “We”. When you do that, both parties will benefit, or at least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.

Crow

Crow

Will there be fries with that? Of course! Well if ya gotta eat crow, ya might as well curb the taste somewhat, cause crow ain’t anybody’s favorite diet, ‘specially when the dessert course is humble pie. It’s a little bit like when yer mom said you’ll eat every bite on yer plate before ya get to go play an’ that’s all there is to it. There’s only one way out an’ that’s to hunker down an’ clean the plate.

Nobody ever expects to get served up such a menu, so it’s always a shock when it arrives at yer table. An’ the first thing ya do is try to figure out what happened here. What’d I do to deserve this? It must be someone else’s fault, but whose? It turns out I’ve served up the menu to myself (if I wanna be honest about it). What do ya think I found out?

For years I been busy dissin’ the haters for their stupid opinions. How can they possibly be so intransigent in holdin’ to their obviously wrong opinions? Oh, wait a minute here. That could apply to me too, couldn’t it? It turns out that I’m just as obstinate as them what don’t agree with me. Holy Hannah! That means they think as much of me as I do o’ them. I suddenly heard my father’s voice sayin’ “With my fist in my pocket, I beat the tar out o’ him”, meaning his idiot boss (in his mind). What that actually meant was that he could vent his rage to his heart’s content without getting to actual verbal (or physical) blows. The next day they would go about their business in a usual friendly way, negotiatin’ their way through the disagreement they’d had like the gentlemen they were.

The trick then is to get yer own personal rage over with privately, an’ then figure out a way to respectfully engage in dialogue to communicate with the other parties to reach some consensus. An’ now that I’ve made my menu selection, by the time I got it choked down, I figure I might just have the problem solved. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’. 

I Resign

I Resign!

Yeah, you heard right! I resign – from government that is. Well, perhaps I ought’a rephrase that a bit. I ain’t in the government so I can’t literally resign from something I ain’t part of to start with, but I can resign from talkin’ about it or readin’ about it, an that’s exactly what I plan to do.

Of course, I’m talkin’ about all that hateful poison bein’ puked out on Facebook an’ Twitter. I never seen such a lot of venom spewed out by normally nice, respectful people who expose themselves for what they really are. I have to say it’s disheartening at the very least and sometimes quite sad. I still haven’t figured out whether this deprecatory behavior is the result of assumed anonymity, a crowd mentality, or just plain ignorance. Could be one or all those things, but it don’t matter one way or the other. The point is, I don’t want to have anythin’ to do with that sort o’ clap-trap.  So, I figure by deletin’ it on my facebook page I’ll accomplish a number o’ things. Firstly, my page’ll be a lot cleaner an’ a lot more positive to look at. An’ secondly, it’ll make my blog appear more boldly. Now I ain’t gonna unfriend anybody. There’s too many other factors important to my friends an’ me. Naw, I just wanna wipe the trash off my page. That way I won’t have to look at it every time I go on there.

But before I do that, I’ll have to confess to one last swipe I took at Kelly Leitch. But I know now what I have to do. I’ll have to abide by the advice I gave to Jamie; that is to get myself a big brown paper bag like the ones we used to get at Eaton’s. Then I can stick my head in it and cuss to my heart’s content without startin’ a fight with someone or somethin’ I care about. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.

New Old Timers

New Old Timers

          Back in the old days when life was simpler, you could spend a few hours on a warm Sunday afternoon, swapping stories, or reminiscing about younger times and better places fondly remembered. Such were the times of John Henry and Henry John, sitting on an old grain box, savoring a few moments of friendship and idle storytelling. Who can tell what it was that they were talking about? 

          I guess it was here that my imagination for story telling took hold. It's not so much the story that is important, although that helps, but rather the comradeship of the people sharing that brings the greatest reward.

          So I gather my audience together, imaginary or otherwise, sit down at my keyboard and start spinning tales - sometimes true and sometimes the biggest lies I can conjure up. When I am done, I feel I've accomplished something.

Posthumous Sales

Posthumous Sales

Well if that ain’t the most annoyin’ business I ever heard of. Ya spend a lifetime o’ plyin’ yer craft an’ scratchin’ out a livin’ an’ then ya get sick an’ croak. All the things you’ve accumulated one way or another durin’ yer lifetime get tabulated, sold off, given away or thrown in the trash an’ the matter is settled. Everybody can get on with their lives (or deaths as it were) – unless you are a writer, poet, or musician that is.

I just read the other day that Leonard Cohen’s sales (I assume on recordings he has done) have gone up four hundred and seven percent since his passing. That really, really sucks as far as I’m concerned. I mean if ya really think his material is that important to have in yer collection, why’d ya have’ta wait ‘til he croaked before ya acknowledged him? He could’a used the money for medical expenses ya know.

The business with Gord Downie is a little different. Though news of his imminent demise was a wake-up call to his many fans and followers, he has a little time to arrange the direction of his (potential) income. He also has the opportunity to stick it to the scalpers eager to cash in on the situation by broadcasting his entire last concert on CBC.

Of course, ya can’t take it with ya. We all know that. There’s no bankers in heaven. They’re all in that other place, together with the lawyers an’ politicians.  But we should have a say in what becomes of our posthumous earnings and who benefits from them. I guess that means we gotta mix in a little economics in with our artistic talents. My late father-in-law had found the perfect solution. When he drew up his last will an’ testament, he of course looked after the family, but then he sneaked in a clause sayin’ that if anybody contested the will, all of it would automatically go to a charity he named in the will. No one contested it.

What he done in his wisdom was to look after the family an’ not only that, he kept them from fightin’ over any of his decisions all at the same time. Smart thinkin’ I figure. At least that’s how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin’.