Name Calling

Name Calling

 She says; "Ah damn, that's a beautiful apple! Have a bite."

He says; "Oy vey! That's one sour apple." an' spits it out.

Ya get the connection don't ya? Well it stands to reason don't it? The amount o' times he screwed up, or forgot to do somethin' after they was kicked outta the Garden of Eden had got her naggin' him about it an' every time she done it he knew she was hollerin' at him until he figured his name was Adam.

An' Oy vey, that's actually the Yiddish pronunciation of the Arabic word Eevee. Well you know how things are between the Arabs an' the Jews. Every time she started "Ah damning" him, he'd just roll his eyes an' say "Oy vey". Well you know that didn't go over very well. She didn't much like it at all. That 'Oy vey' business seemed to be a derogatory term, the way he said it. An' that 'Eevee' business wasn't much better neither, but at least it had a bit of a ring to it, if ya left off the last 'e'. That was it! She's call herself Eve! If that horse's petoot wanted to talk to her, that's what he'd have to call her or she wouldn't talk to him at all.

Well, Adam. Or Ah Damn, whichever you wanna call him, he had to mull that one over for a bit. On the one hand, the silence would be a relief. But on the other, he'd just have to put up with them two boys o' theirs. The one, the sugar cane farmer, he was about as interestin' as a root canal. Adam just called him Cain (that was his accent comin' out again). An' the other one; the aggressive hunter, well he was no bowl o' cherries neither. But he was able to pick his boring brother off with a rock at a hunnert paces, which would shut him up. Well the able guy was able to provide meat for the table, so he became called Abel in Adams vocabulary.

What's that got to do with anythin', you ask. Well  . . . . . nothin'; zero. An' that's what you find when you look up how names was first invented on Google. Nearly every site tells you how the Egyptians invented "zero". So they don't know neither. So you can take my explanation of it as gospel. Who's to refute it? Nobody   . . . . . . Zero! At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.