Whatshesaid

Whatshesaid!

 

No, this ain't no gossip column. It ain't even what she said. It's "Whatshesaid". That's a whole different kettle o' fish. It's sorta a reply to a question about what to do or where to go or what to buy. It's classic Red Green, straight outa his book about Red Green's Guide to Women for Men who Don't Read Instructions. Well it ain't very original but let me tell you, it's the best gol dang reply I've ever come across. An' it's decisive too.

There's no jig-jaggin' around about it neither. A friend says to you: "Are ya goin' for a beer with the guys tonight?" The straight answer is, "Whatshesaid!" Well, that ends the discussion right then an' there. It puts the decision right squarely on the Missus an' you don't have to worry about it. An' if you happen to be talkin' to a married man who's already cleared it with his Missus, an' he'll understand where you're comin' from. Bachelors an' otherwise unattached folks won't get it, but then who cares? It's not about their security anyways.

An' before the women readin' this get their undies in a knot at bein' considered bossy an' overbearin', it ain't about that neither. What it is, is a security blanket for us old married guys (or people in a domestic relationship as it is commonly known these days). See, what "Whatshesaid" does is put the responsibility on the Missus so we don't have to make no decisions, 'cause we already know we can tap into the two-four in the basement fridge an' there's a hockey game on the TV most nights anyways.

See, it all works out to be a good thing; a benefit to all parties concerned (except them single fellas who are findin' it more an' more difficult to get anybody to agree with 'em). For the married men, it's probably a sneaky way to get the wife to restrict their goin' out cause they wanted to stay home an' watch the game anyways instead o' listenin' to all the lies in a noisy bar.

The unsuspecting Missus of course can exercise her responsibility to keep her man on the straight and (dignified) narrow while he (the devious little weasel) can publicly blame her for not bein' able to go out with the boys (which he didn't much want to do anyways). The upshot is that everybody's happy, even the single guys who don't want much to do with henpecked husbands anyhow. Even the Missus secretly likes the fights that go on in the hockey games (though she won't admit it). At least that's how it seems to me from up here on the top shelf.

Just sayin'.